So one thing I've learned over the years that there is rarely a "straw that broke the camels back" in these kinds of things. She is trying to say this comment at the first day of school is the catalyst for this separation. I say hogwash. She is claiming that your public shyness or whatever makes her feel like she embarrasses you. I say hogwash to that too. If she isn't embarrassed why would your embarrassment bother her? It makes no sense!
However, what does make sense, to me anyway, are these statements:
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She’s had months of business travel where she would be gone from Monday - thurs/friday
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She’s starting to plan weekend outings without me with the girls.
RED FLAGS!!
I've told the story about some friends of ours several years ago, the H being a severe type 1 diabetic. His W our beloved friend started doing business trips quite often. Turns out most of them were not business and were personal trips she was taking with OM.
Yeah, what I am telling you is likely there is an OM. I am sorry but Ws do not end a marriage over their Hs, whom they've been with for years, being socially shy. You are telling me that for 15+ years she was okay with it, and then suddenly one day it is so bad for her that she wants to separate? Yeah, not buying that.
I am not a proponent of snooping, but at this point you need to do some reconnaissance. You need to see if you can check on these girls' weekends somehow. And you need to check on these supposed business trips. All of this adds up to the likelihood that she is involved in a PA.
In the story above, when our friend came to us and said his W wanted to divorce. And she couldn't give him a good reason why, we encouraged him to consider the possibility she was involved with someone else. He was resistant at first but eventually snooped on her email and found out we were right. He then hired a PI to get hard evidence it was still occurring.
What does your gut tell you? And please lay aside denial. I know you don't want to believe it, but is it possible?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
