From the other side of the mountain (pt. 9)

[Rita]

SBJ, I loved what you wrote here about the Mass, just didn't get a chance to write back.

For me, I almost always feel Christ passing by in the Mass, like the blind man sitting by the side of the road waiting for Him to pass and then he does, and that man just starts yelling his head off, he doesn't care what anyone thinks, he wants to be healed! Not that I am yelling in the Mass, but my soul is! I usually cry the whole mass, but mostly out of joy. Someone told me a year or two ago that when I am deeply suffering, I should take communion as much as possible, it will strengthen me. And I have really found this to be true. I know outside the faith people don't understand that and think it's all in our head or will say things like, "Whatever works for you, my thing is yoga." Not that yoga doesn't offer something wonderful, and that something can be deeply spiritual. But what I am talking about is an actual Person actually doing something for me and to me, I really experience that in the Mass and when I get that grace, in prayer alone.

Nope, I am nowhere near Texas, I live in a place that is the opposite of Texas! But I was once at a Rejoice Pompano meeting and I met a stander there, was very drawn to her, and wrote to her afterwards. We became prayer partners and close friends, calling each other sometimes daily. When her H came back, she stopped having time to support my stand in that way. But she taught me a lot about trusting God no matter what is happening down here. And her H came back and they are fully restored and having little conferences about it. She is the one who owns that restaurant.

Have met with the priest to figure out how the group would work, he liked the idea a lot, and now I just have to write an outline of the first meeting. Will let you know how it goes. It's a leap of faith for sure to start there while waiting for the next D letter.

But I have been trying to love my H with God's love. Not that I initiate anything but I am very friendly and kind to him. It is freeing. I feel like I get released from a slavery every time I am able to forget my own bitterness/pain and just be kind.

And I was glad to hear about your courage, joy, etc., in facing your anniversaries. That is very heartening what you say about the good memories. I have trouble with that because my H lives here, the circumstance is always in front of me. So I find it very hard to remember him as he was. But I found what you say to be very true after my mom died. We had a very complicated relationship, but as soon as she died, I was able to forgive everything (only bad part about that was the huge regret that I had about not being able to do that before she died!).

You go, SBJ!