Okay, in an effort to focus on the progress, I have a little occurrence to journal.
This morning while walking downstairs I found a receipt in the foyer. I picked it up and it was from a liquor store about 12 miles north of us. A direction none of us goes as we live in the city and this was from the burbs. This receipt was for a bottle of gin and paid for with an Amex card, dated 10:30am 8/23, just the previous day. Now we don't have an amex and unless W has a company card I have no idea who's it could be. W had a work social function after work but was home by 7:30pm. As you can imagine all sorts of scenarios flashing through my head. We do have a house guest. D19 had a girlfriend from college fly down to stay a week. Those two had a big day doing touristy things in the city, south of the liquor store. Hmmm?
Well, I scan the receipt as it seemed prudent. W was getting ready for work. I took it to her as unaccusative as possible. She looked at it and seemed puzzled as well. W hardly drinks and doesn't drink gin. Anyway, I walk away and start dabbling in work while drinking coffee. A sign of growth on my part. Some 10 min. latter W comes into my home office and says in a sincere voice." I just want you to know it wasn't mine. It didn't dawn on me at first, but I can imagine how this might look." I thanked her. I believe her. If she were lying or covering up, I believe she would have played down the mystery and been mad and defensive. Instead, she was humble and understanding. I thanked her. We discussed the mystery some more and she said she will question D19. I also added how I understood how it must feel being the target of suspicion when you don't deserve it. I also pointed out how I resented being haunted by suspicion. I don't even have to go looking. She validated. So could she be lying and just getting better at acting? Sure. Could a friend have picked up a bottle from the burbs for some sort of skip work liaison and somehow she ended up with a receipt? I guess so.
But right now, I chose to believe her. 20+ years experience with this person, including catching her in an A, tells me this is not her lie. I also appreciate her understanding of my position. Empathy or Sympathy, I get confused. Anyway, something I feel she lacked in the past. Something I believed she couldn't fake while lying.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.