Help Please: 2

[Terapin]

Update. I want to thank those that have replied to my posts. In theory all of the advice is great. Unfortunately in my sitch, it had the exact opposite effect (of saving the M)

I had to run out for somethign last night, then met a friend for a quick bite to eat. That's the 5th time in 3 weeks I went out 'GALing'. While out, W texts that she just bought her and son concert tickets (Metallica. Again, son is 8), and they're going to go with our 'friends' that until yesterday had completely written W off, and vice versa. These are the friends that employ OM btw, and they are also taking their 11yo son

So I come home, W is half drunk, and she unloads on me. I'll just try some bullet points.

- 'You knew I wanted to go to this concert, but YOU never made an attempt to get tickets'
- 'You've been out running around doing God knows what, instead of talking to me about stuff'
- 'You haven't even mentioned our R in the last 2 weeks. I have no idea what's going on. You're ignoring the huge
elephant in the room'.
- 'You've never cared about what I want or need, and that's why this whole thing started'.
- 'You've been doing things with son, which is great. But i just know down deep you're thinking I'm a terrible mother.'

My replies (as best I can remember)
- 'You haven't mentioned this concert in 6 months, and we agreed then that tickets were way too expensive.'
- 'I've just been living my life. You said you wanted and needed space to think.'
- 'I haven't been ignoring anything. I was open if you wanted to talk'
- 'Can you list some examples?' She really couldn't, but the few lame ones she did I validated
- 'I never said or thought you're a terrible mother.'

The conversation went back and forth between her blaming me for every aspect of her unhappiness, to her talking about marriage counselors that she's looked into for us. She said she did text OM again to ask him to please not share any of their texts with me, cause it would really 'hurt' me even more, and completely eliminate any chance of saving the M. WTF? She said that she'll answer any questions I have about it though right now. I didn't want to hear the details.

Everything she said that I listed above, she would always throw in "I guess I can't blame you", "I realize how awful and selfish I've been", "I guess you have a right to think or do xyz..' She continued to say that it really wasn't about OM, just about the attention she got

I guess to sum up:

DBing, GALing, detatching, etc seems to have had a negative effect on hopes of reconciliation.
When asked point blank what she wants, she still couldn't definitively answer. Just said that she knows that the best thing for everyone else would be to stay married, but doesn't know if it's best for her.
There are apparently so many conversations, texts, etc happening behind my back that I literally have no idea who to trust with anything.
On the positive side I guess, she did get referrals and research two MCs, and said she probably is willing to go, but wants to have a few IC sessions first (which she has scheduled).

Again, this conversation went on for 2 hours. There was tons of stuff said. I think I hit the main points.