As much as it pains me to think about losing my wife and missing out on half of my children's life, part of me wishes she would just hurry up and move out, as it will make moving on so much easier for me.
It will. Separation is miserable business, but after a few months you'll be getting your mojo back and wondering why you put up with all the BS for so long.
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She doesn't have a timeframe in mind for moving.
Oh she probably does, she just doesn't feel obliged to tell you what it is.
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Is she just doing the fun stuff, like buying furniture, but avoiding the things that she doesn't want to face, like telling the kids and exposing her deceitful ways to all of our friends and family?
If you're expecting her to spill the beans on her "deceitful ways" to anyone, well you're going to be very disappointed. The best case scenario is she won't give any explanation at all, worst case is she'll heap all the blame on you. You were a bad H, you never paid attention, you never listened, etc. etc.
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Will that keep her from following through with this when the time comes?
No. At this point I'd say her leaving is a foregone conclusion, it will happen. So just prepare yourself. They don't sign a lease and buy furniture and then suddenly change their minds. She's fully in love with the fantasy of a new life and nothing will stop her now that it's so close.
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Our wedding anniversary is Sunday. My plan is not to even acknowledge it. I may try to play some golf in the morning and then we're going to a friend's house for a cookout. Just another day, as far as I am concerned. Let me know if you disagree with this approach.
I don't disagree. But I will say when our anniversary came up a few months after BD (we were separated by then) I tried a slightly different approach, I told my XW "I know given our situation that exchanging gifts doesn't make sense, but it seems inappropriate to just ignore our anniversary too so how about we just go have a friendly dinner?" And we did and it was fine. I had zero expectations and of course it didn't change anything, but I did it for ME and I have no regrets. If I had done nothing then I would have felt guilty about it, but that's me. Do what you feel is best for you.
