The only way for her not to possess al the power in this dynamic is by you not giving it to her. That's not on anyone else but you.
trust me, I know enough about this stuff. My cousin is a psychiatrist. My mother was diagnosed with mental disorders I had to come to understand because dealing with her and understanding how to handle her and how she affected me so deeply , I had no choice. So I learned how to protect myself. From my own mother.
IN the end, we take the knowledge of these diseases and take control. You cannot continue to play the emotional predator card. If you are educated, it is in your hands now how much she controls you. Not hers. All these scars she has left are in your hands to take care of now. Which should really be treated by a psychiatrist if you have been so deeply affected.
The drill sergeant here is saying you need to man up now and take your knowledge and make it power.
I have been raising my daughter, divorced with a narcissist for 11 years now, since she was a baby. 6 months old. I know I had to learn how to raise her for the rest of our life together. it takes a lot of mental fortitude and learning. But the biggest thing was not letting him control me or blaming anything on him anymore. I am in control now.
