I agree with everyone else O....know one has anyway of knowing. My XW sent me a selfie of her and my D eating lunch yesterday. 1 yr ago this would have had me all spun up.....now it's not even on my radar emotionally. I looked at the picture and it didn't even hit my radar.
The characters in our dreams are actually parts of our own personality, so all those dreams are is your subconscious trying to get you to stop pushing down or not acknowledging aspects of your whole you. Probably your feminine side, which would make sense. So much of the process of male LBS healing is reclaiming our "manhood" that we neglect our feminine side. Try creating something and immersing yourself in the process.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
The "Stomach knots of intuition" have returned in full force.
She has a motive behind all she does, and this is a big move for her. so its hard not to try and decipher that motive. I know ill never know the real reason she did that.
They say hatred is close to apathy, so if i really didnt matter to her, she would have kept me blocked. So it tells me that I am still on her mind, which is fine, she should feel guilt.
I was going to go in and block her now that she has me all unblocked, but decided that would show A.) i noticed, and B.) it effected me. So i am just leaving it alone. I'm not allowing her the satisfaction of knowing i noticed, it effected me or anything else.
Haircut Update: She did cut his hair, and cut it short the way he wanted it and how i requested it.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Who knows why she does what she does? And who cares? No sense in wasting your valuable time on such things. Time is the most important asset we have, and no one knows how much of it they have anyways. Spend it wisely.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Days like today i hate working in a cubicle, stuck here with my thoughts.
I need my Warduna (Nordic Music) to cleanse my mind.
I am just taking strength knowing If she is doing this I am still on her mind, and im not going to let her rule mine. Yea, im thinking about it, but im not going to let it crush my mood and productivity.
I am Odin. I am the Man on the Silver Mountain.
Vae Victis!
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Doesn't change anything. Its just reassuring to know she doesn't posses all the power in this dynamic Ginger. Its bolstering to know she isnt omnipotent.
I don't. You are right. Cognitive dissonance is still a thing though Ginger.
How extensivly have you researched CPTD, Trauma bonding, Cognitive Dissonance and Gaslighting?? This is not playground psychology here. She is an emotional predator, and the wounds she left are profound, deep, and will take a lonngggg time to truly scar over.
Unfortuneatley Ginger, she is the mother of my son and i will have to deal with her for at least the next 15 years.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
O - Keep your conversations and interactions with her to minimum until you are strong enough to handle. The fall back is "yes", "no", "Thank you" or no response at all.
I have only seen my XW for about a total of an hour in the last month. Kid exchange is literally 5 minutes tops and I am in and out. For no reason other than I don't have anything to say.
The only way for her not to possess al the power in this dynamic is by you not giving it to her. That's not on anyone else but you.
trust me, I know enough about this stuff. My cousin is a psychiatrist. My mother was diagnosed with mental disorders I had to come to understand because dealing with her and understanding how to handle her and how she affected me so deeply , I had no choice. So I learned how to protect myself. From my own mother.
IN the end, we take the knowledge of these diseases and take control. You cannot continue to play the emotional predator card. If you are educated, it is in your hands now how much she controls you. Not hers. All these scars she has left are in your hands to take care of now. Which should really be treated by a psychiatrist if you have been so deeply affected.
The drill sergeant here is saying you need to man up now and take your knowledge and make it power.
I have been raising my daughter, divorced with a narcissist for 11 years now, since she was a baby. 6 months old. I know I had to learn how to raise her for the rest of our life together. it takes a lot of mental fortitude and learning. But the biggest thing was not letting him control me or blaming anything on him anymore. I am in control now.
