My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 4

[ovrrnbw]

I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this. It really matters to me.

She did call Sunday afternoon. I didn't answer b/c I didn't want to ruin my day.

On Monday and Tuesday, she calls while I'm at work. I'm not going to be there for her, and take time out of my work day, if she is not coming home at night. If I call her while she is at the OM apt, will I get an answer? So why stop my day to do something she won't do for me?

She only wants to lie to me and keep me as her backup plan anyways. Or maybe she was serious a few weeks back when she was "trying", but I still don't want to be there for someone who flip flops this much.

A few weeks back it was "I love you," "I told OM it's over," and "Let's put our rings on," "give me a hug and kiss goodbye", and frequent communication. She did this type of thing back in June when she came home for our anniversary then disappeared after. I don't want to be there for someone who does all of this to me, hides her money, spends my money, forges my signature on a check, lies, and cheats.

I don't know that this is a long term strategy to do anything, but in the meantime it keeps me happier and safer. I don't think this situation has much hope anyways. Her threatening follow up texts saying "I have 5 min to answer my phone" and threatening to shut off my phone make me think it is not about anything important, but rather her wanting to control me.

She's been gone every night but 1 in the last almost 3 weeks. Why do I need to communicate with her? She has someone else. And she keeps saying it is not an affair. OK, then leave me, your EX, the hell alone.

I went back and read Sandi's post to me, it was in June. It was all about letting her go. WW wants to be done, she wants someone else, she broke my heart. And I'm getting me back, had such an awesome night Saturday getting attention from women. I'm starting to see that life won't be so bad if divorce happens. I'm thinking about the girl who gave me her number and god do I want to see her. She is smoking. Why the hell do I want someone like my WW? I don't. She'd have to change so much to make this work, I just don't know if it will ever happen - I'd bet against it. So screw answering her phone calls.

I'm not sure what going dark means exactly, but the more she is gone the better I am feeling, the more peaceful my house and life is.

P.S. sorry for the wall of text!!!