DB / Detach, WAW... piecing

[Did]

We have both been dating off and on for almost a year. She says shes not dating anyone but how should I know. She was sending naked pictures and having unprotected sex a year ago. With some POS bankrupt trashy guy. That was OM1. OM2 she was ordering lingerie for and spending the night at his house 6 months ago. Sometimes I feel pathetic for even being open to wanting / taking her back. I want a deeper connection. W and I barely talk. She has stonewalled me for over a year. She has anxiety and I cant even be honest with her or talk to her.... what do you guys think I should do? Our marriage was based on a physical attraction which for me is still there. Who knows what she feels besides anxiety and defense mechanisms fear of upsetting me. Id like to build the rest of the relationship. But it only works if she wants it and shows that, says it. She has never said that ever since separating. Just I dont know what I want. Or no I dont want to work on it. Now its I want to get to know you again and start as friends... Its BS. I have done a lot of work on myself and I feel I deserve happiness. I want my family back but only if she commits fully to that. She hasnt come back she doesnt show any interest when were in person. Shes cold, walled up it [censored]. She shows this incredible love for D4 if she showed that for me or felt it maybe it would be different. But it is what it is.

Yes, she's gorgeous and I have feelings for her. She's the mother of my child. If she wanted to work on things and commit to that I'd try my best. But what am I supposed to do. She wants to be friends? Who knows if there's any attraction. The most veteran person on here is telling me its a trap and she doesnt want to be lovers or intimate whatsoever.

So W tells me she really misses D4 today, she asked to get her back a day early. I said this is how its going to be every week. She gets all mad like you dont have to say that. I didnt respond to that. I cant be honest with her. Its infuriating.

Im taking D4 to an amusement park D4 and my parents tomorrow. I want to spend the night with D4 so I probably will.

She facetimed around 6 looking incredible to go out to dinner with a girlfriend. She has plans for a lunch date with another girlfriend tomorrow. This is what her life revolves around. Meanwhile Im working building a business after switching jobs trying to be a great dad. My schedule revolves around work as I support the family. I took D4 for her physical and blood test. W says I should be there, my response... youre not. She says hard to imagine her being in pain and not being there for her you know. I said yea I understand how you feel. Its hard.... trying to validate.

Advice appreciated.

New woman is a school teacher she loves to travel shes beautiful. Has been in a previous relationship with a partner who had kids. Shes 2 years older than me wants kids. Weve been talking for like an hour a day on the phone and the connection is there. Its scary. To feel the family slipping away.... but what am I supposed to do? Do what feels right... not hang on to something thats dead just because shes gorgeous and we have a child... especially when I have no idea what she wants. Shes still scared to say what she feels or thinks around me. Thanks all... torn here but going to meet this new girl at least.