Clean Slate Pt. 1 (Advice on my Scenario Pt. 23)

[LoneWlf]

I find my balance when I have a mixture of prayer - exercise- activities . As long as mind my and body are active - it allows me less time to dwell in negativity. Wishing you well on your journey!

[Ginger1]

exercise.

and drinking.

[Ginger1]

Oh, I volunteer too. volunteerism is wonderful thing with so many benefits. You feel good about contributing and stay busy, and communities benefit.

I also have a side gig as a drill sergeant........

[OrangeK]

def. agree on volunteering. I am still miffed that I had to move to a town that doesn't have a Volunteer/Call fire department. I miss the Big Red Truck so much!!

[OrangeK]

***DISCLAIMER*** not something I am going to act on!!

I have been experiencing odd resurgences is sexual thoughts of EX the past few days.
She has shown up in dreams, and un-asked for in sexual thoughts when awake also.

I know if we were to EVER re-engage sexually, it would give her the opportunity to burst into my emotions like the Kool-Aid Man, so it wont be happening, but for a long time my sexual attention was diverted elsewhere as I tried to move on from EXWIFE.

Now i have the fresh surge of desire and thoughts of her in that manner.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Any advice on how to cope with it or make it go away?

I have VERY fond memories of out times together sexually, but id rather just not think of her, as enjoyable as the memories and/or fantasies can be, they are bittersweet and she shouldnt be in my headspace.

[OrangeK]

okay in a weird spot right now was just scrolling through my Instagram feed and noticed my ex on my list of suggested followers. She has had me blocked for months, so for some reason she unblocked me. My account is private hers is not, curiosity got the best of me And I opened her page. No evidence of om but I've have known that she hasn't posted anything about him. God she looks good. Crap that was a bad idea. it just came as such a shock because I've just grown accustomed to being blocked. Damn it. it's amazing that just seeing two photos can have such a profound effect. I backed out of her page before I looked at more. Already missing her like crazy. WTF.

[OrangeK]

Above post was voice to text.

[OrangeK]

Okay. it doesn't change my resolve or my game plan. It doesn't change what happened. Nothing is different it's not a big deal.

[OrangeK]

Can i please get some input here?

The unblocking on social media is really odd to me. Why open it all up now?
I can only assume its a temp check to see if i start liking and viewing her posts and whatnot.
She activley chose to unblock me on several social media platforms all in one day.
She may have done this to try and have me see the photos she posted from her trip to Canada with OM, but still no actual posts acknowledging any R with OM. Nothing.

I didnt linger in her page for longer than it took to see 2 photos last night.
I asked SIL if OM was in any of the photos so i wouldnt look myself.

Temp check or rubbing the trip in my face?
Which do you all think is the likely cause?

[neffer]

Hi orange. Just detach and avoid the mind reading. Go out for a run. Take your mind to a safer state. You are getting stronger. Keep GAL