Deep down, she didn't want me out of the house. I did. Because I hate it when she closes her bedroom door. I know she's talking to someone (OM, her friend, her parents, IDGAF). I felt that getting out of the house was a necessary step for me to GAL. And as heartbreaking it is not to be with D4, I have to do it. For myself. I love my time to myself. I love going to the gym and not having to worry about running home to tend to their needs while setting aside mine. I love being able to just do stuff.
She hates me being out of the house. She tells me to stay because we need to "clean the house and we won't have time since I'll be out" or some other reason. At times, she'll ask me to sleep in her bed because her mom can sleep in my (inferior) bed.
She is fighting her feelings on this whole situation. I can still sense it. And she is losing her control over me, despite her attempts. But SHE will be the one who comes to me when she is ready to R.
Until then, I'll continue to DB. I'll continue to GAL. I'll continue to work on my NGS. And I'll continue to learn the techniques to show love the way my future W deserves. Because I'm not going to make the same mistakes again.
