Seekn, first and foremost you have to get yourself right. Ordering St. John's Wort is fine and dandy, but most psychological disorders cannot be home remedied. I highly suggest getting into IC stat. Actually I would suggest being evaluated by a psychiatrist since they can subscribe medication. Commit to the meds since they are the only thing that can even you out. Most bipolar sufferers struggle with staying on meds. "I feel good, I don't need these!" Fight that.
180ing on your bipolar will go a long way with your W. She will notice that you are in IC and on the meds.
Next, stop focusing on her. Detach. Stop snooping. Give her space. Seekn here is the key: You have to let her go to get her back. That is the key. If you can truly let her go that should help make her at least stop distancing. (See the pursuit-distance dynamic.)
IF she insists that one of you leave, either the MBR or the house completely, make sure it is her! Do not think you can "nice" her back. The problem here is she has lost respect for you. Once respect is gone so is the attraction. Also, do nothing to help her with the D. You can't stop her from Ding you but you don't have to help her do it.
GAL....so important. Until you do this well you will be constantly thinking about your sitch, which will force you to react, which will thwart your efforts. Also you will continue to want to snoop, get more info on OM, etc. Let all of that go. It can't help you at all except to keep you attached.
Hang in there Seekn, this is a marathon not a sprint. Things will get better one way or the other.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
