So ex asked me to switch son for his birthday...meaning he does not want son on his birthday weekend cause he will be away that weekend.
I don't know why that still hurts so much. I am pretty positive its not a work thing. He does not see son all that much to switch. I would want to spend my birthday with my son. Nothing would be more important. Of course I wonder if its a romantic weekend and that still bothers me. Not because I don't realize what a POS he is. Just that he would choose something like that over his only son. Also, its not fair that he is enjoying his life so much. It still bothers me after all this time.
My friend and I were talking about how he feels nothing.From his perspective, this divorce was a great thing. No responsibility. Easier lifestyle. No guilt or remorse. And is there really a right or wrong when it is just a matter of perception. I understand her point.
I reminded her of an acquaintance we had that got drunk at someone's house and threw up in the bath room and did not say a thing. Acted like all was fine the next morning. Meanwhile the host had to clean it up. I told her my ex is like someone that threw up all over the place and left others to clean it up. And that I would never want to have that type of perception. To think that is OK,
We know intelligence does not mean happiness. I asked her if she would rather be slow and happy or smart and prone to depression. I don't know why, but I would never want to be slow and happy. (maybe i am not truly very bright after all). But its something about wanting the more authentic reality I guess. Even though it makes no sense. My ex lives in a great world because of a similar emotional or moral slowness perhaps.
