Yeah... I'm curious if maybe where we were a couple of weeks ago and where she's indicating things are now is really how she feels, and maybe she just had a bit of doubt these last couple??? I have no idea...
Honestly, there's no real benefit to having me come along if she plans to leave me. My income doesn't count toward the mortgage loan (self employed and it's my first year of being so, so there are no tax records to base my income off of for the income verification). Unless she's just resigning herself to having a roommate, which I've pretty frankly told her I didn't want, and she said she didn't either.
I know your sitch was pretty similar, Steve. And you're right, you guys were much further along in R. I mean, yesterday, I was celebrating an unsolicited hug (I got another last night before she went to bed, and it felt like she wanted to say or do more, but I cut it off). That being said, this is the first time she's clearly and succinctly said she wants us.
Crouton, I am not going to lie, this is a very good sign. There are all kinds of things that make WASs wake up from their fog, and there is no doubt that a new start in a new house can be one of them. But as I said, my exploring it and getting feedback in the threads I linked were all good things to think on and consider. Have a conversations with her tonight about what R means. That it means she has work to do. That you both need to get into MC. That you will require a commitment before biting this off.
Our MC was awesome. She pointed out that the stress of a move, and of buying a house...and selling a house can play havoc on a solid MR, let alone one that was strained. Both my W and I took her advice and went into with a good attitude. That we were going to work together on the stresses, and not let the stresses tear us apart. Find a good MC to navigate these waters!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
