Can I really do this #5

[sandi2]

My concerns: How do I know if she is truly gone and just playing me as long as she can to get into a better position or have her plans come together? I find it difficult to almost not read too much into everything.

Well, IDK that you can. Some women are very clever in their manipulations, and some are extremely good actresses. IMHO, a H can be fooled b/c he wants to believe that things are slowly getting better. Maybe the W throws just enough crumbs to keep him hanging on.

I find it difficult to almost not read too much into everything. Just my nature, but I've always been the "tackle the issue, make a decision and move forward" guy. This is way different and along with the 180's for the relationship, this is majorly counterintuitive on my regular thought process.

As I once said, you are your own worst enemy. I think you try to keep the peace and appease her the best you can. Therefore, you analyze everything she says & does, and you act according to whatever you read into it. It seems to me that we do this when relationships are not where they should be. If the other person is not open, truthful, kind or loving...….then we try to figure them out, and therefore, know how to interact with them.

So to recap, I would love to know if I should be doing the LRT for sure! She filed, withdrew, but has consistently said over the last 6 months that D is going to happen and it is too late for our MR. I know not to believe anything she says, but still, it is there.

Maybe I need a memory jog, but did she say she withdrew it in order to save the M? Did she say she did not want to divorce you? Did she say anything about reconciliation? Or, did she just withdraw it, due to other reasons? Has there been any difference in her personal relationship with you? Have you sensed any tension gone from her?

I feel that you are going to deal with it the way you see fit, rather than the suggestions you receive on the board. I'm not saying this in a sarcastic tone. Most of these subjects have been previously discussed, so I believe at this point you are going to fall in with however it goes with her. You have an ill W, and you are dedicated to taking care of her. Your life has centered around her for so long, you can't even get away long enough to GAL on a regular basis. I admire you in many ways, but I am concerned that you have lost part of the man you once were before she became ill. As for as the LRT, I think you feel that being withdrawn and quite is you applying the LRT. ((hugs)).

I am working each day to drop the rope more.

Just curious, how do you see "dropping the rope"?

But now I have a changeover in healthcare and I don't know how to handle that.

IMHO, you need to look at this from the point of health coverage benefits and out-of-pocket money. Don't look at it from the point of where your M stands.