Affair discovered 3

[STH17]

ugh. A week ago I told W she would have to take care of her student loan payment from now on. I've been watching the joint checking account it usually gets paid from, and noticed that over the weekend she transferred the last of our savings account into the checking account, but was still about $10 short for the student loan payment. Today the student loan payment was taken out of the joint checking account, and overdrafted the account. What really surprised me though was that an overdraft protection was automatically applied that came out of MY credit card. I have my own card with that bank, and we have a joint card that W is the owner of which I have asked her to remove me from. I'll have to talk to W about it.

Hmm I just took another look, and see that just a day ago my cousin cashed a check I wrote him for his wedding two months ago. The overdraft still would have occurred regardless of this check being cashed, but now the amount of the overdraft that is "my responsibility" is a little muddied. The fact remains that W did not put enough money in the account to cover her student loan payment. Now that the accounts are empty, if W continues to overdraft them, I will close them.

I need to be careful with this situation because a typical behavior from me is to have expectations about how I want W to do something, not communicate that fully to her, then get upset when she does something different than I would have or the way I wanted her to do it. So I need to not tell her "why didn't you do this or that", but just address the facts that I told her she was responsible for her student loan payment, and now the checking account is overdrawn because she did not make arrangements for that. How is she going to keep that from happening again? And if she is not going to keep it from happening again, I will, by closing the accounts.