Our marriage before BD was good, it had it's normal ups and downs but the stage we were in with focus on our children was definitely a distraction and I see where we could have made more effort together. I was always the keeper of the house and was able to get home first to do cooking, homework, etc for the kids.
This is actually her second affair, last was 10 years ago that we overcame and actually came out stronger than before the A.
I'm still good with the move, that was something that I controlled and she says how she cannot sleep in an empty bed so she carries that burden. And it kills her that the two family dogs have followed me and do not sleep in her bed.
She is an "exec" by title but I make more money and have the better career opportunities than her. Money wise I contribute 55% to the household and she 45% by income but she got lucky getting in with this small company because she would have difficulty going elsewhere because of her lack of degree.
I do recognize that she is holding on to me as plan B, and I do want my respect back. She is making an effort right now to clean her life up through sobriety which I know will only expose all of her flaws and issues that she has refused to deal with. Speaking with my therapist the detachment, NC, GAL are my only options right now if I want things to have any chance.
I am not impatient but as far as cohabitating, not sure I have many options besides defaulting on our mortgage and forcing us to move out. She has the option to sign a separation agreement which will give her enough to start over on her own but obviously she doesn't want to do that since this has already been going on for over 3 months.
Her A has taken place with her using alcohol and drugs and I guess my only option is to continue to GAL and instill the other behaviors and see if this is she wants while she is sober.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019