Originally Posted by MrsJLS
A funny event happened yesterday when I came home from my office in a good mood after a very successful meeting. My H asked: What's wrong, why are you so happy all the time?
Then we both realised the ridiculousness of these words and started to laugh. It seems that because our M is off the tracks, there is no reason for me to be happy in my H eyes. Well I can't control his moods but I am certainly to start to feel in charge of my own emotions and finding my own reasons to be happy elsewhere- whether it is the work, or good weather, or a conversation with a friend. True character building... also I have realised it helps me to grow up and I am starting to overcome some real issues from the past. My mother's sister who hasn't seen since the wedding, told me that as well when she visited last week.

Now I have decided to put more focus on starting my own business while continuing to work, and I have also enrolled to a further professional development course and want to play the piano more so I am looking for a private tutor now. That's my GAL. And it helps to reframe and refocus my mind.


Good for you! This reminds me of an incident where my W acknowledged one of my 180s. Prior to BD I had been an unhappy, miserable, curmudgeon.

One day (this is documented more accurately in my threads) we were in the car and she made a funny noise. Prior to BD this would have resulted in my passively-aggressively chiding her for being silly. But this time, my new upbeat attitude (which has become second nature to me!) caused me to laugh...and then mimick the sound. She looked at me in surprise and said "who are you?" I said "What do you mean?" She said: "You used to get so annoyed at my silliness!" I said: "Yeah, I used to be that way, but now I appreciate your silliness for being fun! You are a fun girl and that makes me want to be fun too." Something to that effect. I am going by memory here.

While there was a lot more on that road trip, I honestly believe that was a turning point and went a long way towards her feeling safe to be herself around me after years of walking on eggshells! So keep it up! It takes a rare kind of person not to be influenced by the infectious nature of happiness!

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018