Is there hope? I have a WW

[SteveLW]

vapo nailed it. You need to get awesome! She will either take notice or she won't. But who cares. Part of being awesome is that you are awesome no matter what she does.

Looking back on my sitch, I can see where getting awesome opened my WW's eyes.

First, I finally started letting her go. At one point I was even pushing her out the door. She had made a comment in MC about "when I think about staying it doesn't seem as bad, and when I think about leaving it doesn't seem as good". She said this in context of me being upbeat, pleasant, pleased with life. I no longer focused on her and the MR. I told her afterward: "if you are still framing staying in terms of level of bad, and leaving in terms of level of good, then I think that is your answer!" She immediately back pedaled from that. And then SHE said: "You have been being so awesome lately."

So first, I let go and moved on. Second, I became a present, upbeat, pleased happy guy. I also had some fortunate timing at work where I was named top achiever for 2017, which came with a huge bonus. I got a promotion which that along with top achiever came with huge raise (and we were already doing extremely well). I was GAL, working out, eating right, I started grooming better (at BD I had a full 4 month unkempt beard for hunting). I started dressing better. I started doing more around the house (for ME, not her). In short, I became awesome.

The first time after I became awesome when she opened up to me sexually, I was awesome there too! While i was concerned with her needs, I put my needs first (thanks to the book No More Mr. Nice Guy).I do not mean to brag but I think she saw a side of me there she hadn't seen in 21 years!

Be awesome. Not sure if anyone has suggested the book No More Mr. Nice Guy, but I highly encourage it along with the rest of the reading cadet suggests.