Hi Sandi.. I have read your story and i brought alot of hope to me but you sound like a strong woman which my W surely isnt atm as far as any remorse or guilt. Yes W laughed in my face (blushing) saying they were only friends having some fun!!!! i explained thats stupid and no friends do that....didnt register in ber mind. We live 4hrs apart and only see each other one weekend a fortnight,(and yes yiur right the kast mongh or two she has an excuse at the last minute not to come,or comes as late as possible)what consequences is there for that. I begged and done all things wrong and W knew that i was there and took full advantage knowing i wasn't going anywhere,i said i forgive her this once but she has to stop all contact with OM.Sbe simply refused and said so i cant even hve friends now,see your controlling me again. I love her and she is my soulmate i cant give up on her and our lives together.Our D is terminally ill aswell so i want to keep the family together. Also i think im a codependent from my own family issues growing up.Parents seperated and i was placed in homes,foster care ect..Had little self esteem from that until W came along and that went away somewhat,but i was always a bit needy seeking reassurance that i was good enough and W was happy with me. I see W has lost all respect for me and uses me as a doormat but am scared if i do the wrong thing the MR is completly over,but i cant change her decisions only my own which is tough atm.I go good for a few days then ask about R again and back to sqaure one. Thanks i will read up on cadets threads and by DB book. Im really thankful that yourve taken an interest in my sitch and could really use your help in gaining something out of this nightmare. It already looks and feels over to me idk why i cant let go? W says its just a break and things will work out,she still says i love you on the phone aswell...probably breads crumbs as you say.
