Wife is not who I married...Pls Help Pt5

[LoneWlf]

First of all V Thanks for the tip on validation - read your post before she came although there was not much to validate.

RR - you hit the nail on the head when you said limit the talk and project alpha mentality. Huge thank you!

Let me start by saying W showed up at the door with boxes to bring some of her stuff back home . She looked very sluggish and old . She was wearing what I would refer to her black fat jeans and a sports bra. W has never been a obese woman during our R but in this case I could see some unsightly rolls. Her hair just blah- not what I would consider attractive. I would not date someone like this now. I just said hi come in and got out of her way. She saw S playing on his computer- she went to say hi. He barely turned to her and then she said hi and walked away. I offered her something to drink in which she politely refused. Funny note she came in to the house and my dog ( which was we purchased together) almost did not want to go to her even after she called him. We went downstairs and she made the comment that I looked good- keeping it simple I said thanks. She then asked me if I had got new clothes? I said with a smile on my face that I had to buy new clothes because all the other clothes were way too big. Then I said ( I know ego boost) I had to buy a size 32 pants and shorts and I mentioned that was what I wore in high school. She said congratulations then she said "this is a compliment - but when you put your mind to it , it gets accomplished !" I simply smiled.
We ended going thru some items, Chistmas stuff, gifts, home accessories we took time to split things up. It was very cordial with maybe a couple jokes here and there from both her and I. No talks about R.
At one point she calls over the dog - he is a medium sized dog so she goes to kiss him on the top of the head and he backs away. I couldn't help but smile. It has been over 3 months since she saw him and now he just looks at her funny.
We got a bunch of stuff sorted out- a lot of stuff went to the garbage. She had packed about 5 or 6 boxes to take home - seeing that this was her choice to move on I went and made myself scarce as to not help her. She later stopped me down stairs and started asking about S. What kind of activities have we done? What have we got planned? How is his summer been? How is baseball going? I ended up giving very simple answers.As RR put it litlle words lots of action. As she was leaving at the front door I needed to give my dog his evening walk so I took him out while she was packing her car. She said to me- my apartment allows dogs you know? I said OK. There is a park nearby and alot of dogs in the building. She then asked-if you need someone to watch him for a day or a weekend I will do it? ( My thought was-I don't think so!). Then she said I would like to have him over for a day or even a weekend. That's when I responded , I can see that you want to spend time with him - but this is something I need to think about. She gave me this befuddled look and said "really?". I said yes I need to think about it. And off I walked with my dog chin up- chest out up beat and positive.

V thanks for the words of enlightenment- it is blessing to have your support.
RR - although your comments at times catch me off guard- you have been stellar in your advice and encouragement. Many thanks!

For all the others, Many times I do not post because I find I am more busy GAL and not foccusing as much on my sitch. When I do read the newbies new thread my heart just aches for them knowing the pain that I had to endure. And this is why i need to post more and pay it forward. Something I intend to do in the future.

Know I am thankful for all the individuals that continue to support me thru their kind words . Words of truth- some which hurt but are true(2X4s). Words of love and encouragement.

Know that I continue to pray for you all. God will NOT forsake you or I. Blessings!