New thread. Thanks again to everyone that's replied. Your input has been awesome.
W and son will be returning home later. I sent W a 'goodnight' text last night (moment of weakness for sure). She didn't reply, but could have been asleep.
Anyway, not really looking forward to having any R talks in the next few days. I know she'll want to at least see where 'I'm at' with things. Ugh, this [censored].
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Remember to stay calm. Time is on your side, remember the marathon and not the sprint. Detach
Yeah I guess. The things that's driving me crazy is not knowing if she's being 'nice' because she wants to stay friendly, or if she's having second thoughts on R.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
This will take time and patience, no matter the outcome. You will learn and get better at being patient. Progress will be slow, and non linear (meaning you'll having ups and downs). You need to prepare yourself mentally for this and have no expectations.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
This will take time and patience, no matter the outcome. You will learn and get better at being patient. Progress will be slow, and non linear (meaning you'll having ups and downs). You need to prepare yourself mentally for this and have no expectations.
And yet every time I think of this, it leads to anger. I shouldn't have to be patient. I shouldn't have to play games, wonder what she's thinking or doing, worry about our house, son, etc. Am I out of my mind here? Why would I even consider being with someone that would put me and our family through this? Hopefully this anger leads to indifference real soon
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
You need to focus on changing that anger into indifference. I held (and am still letting go) on to anger for far too long. Its easy as hell to get hung up on Injustice, Unfairness and the sheer cold heartedness of what the WW is capable of.
Follow your logical mind. It will lead you to the right answers, your heart is powerful, but may not want what is best for your healing.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Well just had a brief convo. More based around her family and a situation they're dealing with. She brought up how my family has been ignoring her (I wasn't aware they were). She said that whatever we decide to do, all of our families need to get along for our sons sake. I agreed. She said it'll be awkward if we do work it out.
Me: "so now you're thinking about working it out?" Her: "i don't think I ever said that was off the table. It's just very complicated".
Should I press farther or leave it be?
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Well i did leave it be, but she brought it up again. She brought out a few more 'details' about this 3 week EA. Basically saying how stupid it was, how she wasn't thinking about anything, and how she's glad it got discovered when it did to 'snap her out of it' and prevent the possibility of it going any further. The more I listened, the more pissed I got. I tried keeping my cool, but I said something like 'i just have no trust for you now, and i never thought i'd have to worry about something like this, especially with a derelict like that.'. She said she doesn't blame me, and she never expected it either, but it 'just happened'. She said not trusting her makes her question about working it out. lmao. I mean, seriously? I told her if trust ever comes back, it's gonna take a long time. She agreed.
She still claims it's over with OM, and she's sorry about everything, and realizes how selfish and stupid she was.
Man all I can think about is beating the living [censored] out of OM.
If anyone can lead Sandi to my thread I'd really appreciate her take on this.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
