Can I really do this #5

[Dtrmned]

Thanks for the input and questions everyone. I will try to address them all.
I may have worded it incorrectly, but I do not attribute to db'ing being ANY reason whatsoever about things getting worse other than being told that as you do this it will definitely get worse until it has a chance to get better. She will react, overreact, not react and/or do many many things that are unable to be explained or justified, or she will just do something that is in line with the decision she has made.
First, the weekend was actually really good. We connected ok and kind of just picked up where we left off,but the communication, for some reason, was a little more open and longer from her and some jovial responses and the like. NOTHING romantic or anything like that, but it was more communication about things other than the kids.
As far as the db'ing and me feeling like I am getting nowhere. I believe it goes back to the ongoing issue that I have in really detaching and not focusing DB on just getting her back. I know the odds are at best 50/50. I need to drop the rope and I do feel that last week helped. And I believe the weekend helped as well. Last evening she cooked a nice dinner. The kids ate a little earlier as they had a bunch to do, so it actually just ended up with my W and I having dinner. And it was pleasant.

My concerns: How do I know if she is truly gone and just playing me as long as she can to get into a better position or have her plans come together? I find it difficult to almost not read too much into everything. Just my nature, but I've always been the "tackle the issue, make a decision and move forward" guy. This is way different and along with the 180's for the relationship, this is majorly counterintuitive on my regular thought process.

Weird part is, I can see us working it out. I also see her just "playing along" until her exit door opens and she is gone saying "I told you I was gone, I don't know why you thought it would be different". Concerned that I am putting too much pressure on myself to hold my family and MR together and if it doesn't happen that it will crush me once again. I am doing all I can to ensure that no matter what happens, that I am ok. Even thought I wouldn't like the end result if we D (hence the reason I am here), I know that I will survive, become happy again and enjoy life. I just still believe that there is hope and I have faith that someday she will see that I am a spouse only a fool would leave and will refocus on rebuilding our MR into an amazingly better relationship.

I am working each day to drop the rope more. I'm still working out and continuing all of my 180's. Also working on my GAL more and more as well.

So to recap, I would love to know if I should be doing the LRT for sure! She filed, withdrew, but has consistently said over the last 6 months that D is going to happen and it is too late for our MR. I know not to believe anything she says, but still, it is there.

I don't blame DB'ing for anything getting worse. Just observing that we have become more distant (outside of the weekend) there is no intimacy whatsover (and I'm of course not referring to sex with isn't even close). She did have a few complaints about one of the kids and we chatted for several minutes. I validated her viewpoints and told her I would support whichever decision she made with regard to the situation. She seemed to drag on the conversation wanting to vent. Again, I truly listened and validated and also reiterated her points back to her and her choices.

I feel pressure on me everyday. New job is digging in so YEA! But now I have a changeover in healthcare and I don't know how to handle that. Do I just treat her as my W and we are good? Or do I let her Cobra the old plan so she can separate now? Our lease for the home is up in 6 months. I need to start making a plan. If we are in the middle of a D then, it will be much more difficult for all of us. If we both go sign a new lease together and still in limbo, there is that to deal with as well (same thing that happened here).

Working more on the financial recovery, Kids, GAL, 180's and I need to find a knife to cut this rope!!!