Quote:

Bolete, here is my opinion on promiscuity. I do not believe for ONE MINUTE that the majority of promiscuous young girls are that way because they love sex. In fact, I would say that they are like that because they hate themselves. Their low self esteem causes them to seek out validation and "love" with their bodies. They feel wanted and desired.
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OH, COM'ON, GUYS!!!!! PLEEEEESE!!!!! What an incredible amount of assumptions you're making!!!!!! HD gals - gather 'round!!! make yourselves known!!!!

I was 10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21, 26, 32, 38, 43, 45.... and every age and year in-between and I KNEW what God had blessed/cursed me with!!!!

I always loved and appreciated my body - but so many guys were so critical!!! A bit of a skin-fold here, a not-so-perfect hair day there, maybe an extra 5 pounds, or a bit too boney and skinny.... never did I find someone who accepted me as I am, until now - later in mid-life!!! But I believed all the others - at least for a while. It's so difficult to say "you're wrong! I'm OK!!!"

But back to the quote, and what you guys were saying....

I first had sex at 15, with a man who was 30, someone I'd know for many years - I knew exactly what I was doing, and I was on a mission to lose my virginity before I was 16 (had something to do with the mucical 'Hair' and the song about the "..16 year old virgin" !!!) He was married, we told his wife and she was fine with it - even joined us in bed!! (OK, it was the free-love 70's) It was great - exciting, educational, erotic - but I wasn't 'in-love' with him, and after a while, had no real reason to stick around.... no problem, we remained friends. Not that it was a necessity for me to be 'in-love' with someone.... I had other boyfriends throughout highschool - a bit of sex here and there - but none of them really knew how to deal with me. My long-term boyfriend was lots of fun, and we did everything 'but' - by his parameteres as a good Catholic - and we were together until college. In college, I met the man that I ended up in marriage with (see below), but saw a few other people as well. It was a time of confusion and searching for self-identification, which is perhaps why I went into the marriage that I did.....

(BTW, intellectually I did quite well throughout school - started college courses in high school at 15, etc.)

Well, the rest of my life history would take up a whole other forum.... let it just speak for itself that I ended up marrying a very LD man at 23 (oh, such Catholic guilt - and having to follow the example of my parents good marriage!!!)... divorce after 10 years, followed by another relationship where, yes, he 'masked' being HD for a time, but when it really came down to it, he was much more LD than I was (maybe he's in the "norm" of the bell curve???? - once every week or two???? could that be the norm???) and our relationship is a textbook example of SSM, only with me in the HD role. He also traveled extensively (years in total out of our marriage), and didn't want to be intimate much even when he was around. It took me more than a decade to come to terms with it, and eventually I made the decision to file for divorce..... being in my mid-40's, I still have so much life ahead of me.... I couldn't face living it in the way I was.

Now I am with a man who is truly HD, and the joy in our lives is exquisite!!! Loving, nurturing, enjoying every aspect.... uninhibited, juicy, wild, imaginative, sensitive, incredibly intimate, he is my other half.... our sex is mind-blowing, like nothing I've ever experienced before, and as frequent as we both want it..... once, twice, ten times a day sometimes. We experiment with countless aspects of lovemaking and sexuality, from toys to latex to erotic writings to ancient tantric techniques, and everything inbetween. We communicate on every level, so closely, respectfully, and as individuals who are with each other by choice. It is a gift from God, and I give thanks each day, each moment, that he and I are in each others lives. Yes, we both have lives where we work, and I have a young (elementary age) son, who lives with me full time (his dad, my second husband, now lives out of state) - but our intimate lives are incredibly valuable to us, and we make and take the time to nurture our sexuality, and give voice and body to our love. It is our wellspring of energy, our touchstone, our celebration of ourselves together and as individuals. We nourish it.

So, once again, back to your original quote - I knew I was HD my entire life.... but I didn't know quite what to do with it and how to handle it. Unfortunately, neither did 90% of the men I was with. So much suffering, so much self doubt - I read it all again in every persons story here is this SSM forum - such pain in all your lives.

Being with another who is HD, and accepts himself for it - and takes joy in me being HD!! ..... it is beyond description... it is heaven given to us here on earth.

To all of you HD's, all I can say is - you can't deny your nature. Probably it has been with you, been a part of you your whole life. I had to let go of my LD relationship - I know he will find someone who can appreciate him just as he is. But it was such a struggle between us, neither of us was happy. Now we both have a chance to find our mates, our matches....

.... which leads me to a question: are there LD/LD's out there who are happy in their lives and relationships??? I'll have to seach around on this site to see...

I wish you all love, sex, and fufillment in your lives,

Lucy