Fell for it again. So W was supposed to come up on the weekend to spend some time with me.For the past fortnight havent called or messaged her,have been positive when she calls(each night after work),dont ask about her or any questions about r,also ended the call insted of trying to keep her on the phone to hear her voice. She seemed a little more intrested and started asking about my day and what it involved,she still says i love you and ill call you tomorrow. I asked her about what was happening and if she was still coming up to see me(i had previously said to her i dont want to see you and D at the same time as i dont want to fight and argue in front of her anymore) she aggreed.,W said shes not sure as she doesnt have the money and knows we are going to argue...fml usual repsonse. I said id put in some money for her to come and see me and said im o er the r talks if she wants to come up hang out and have a goodtime cool,if not im fine with that also.she said ok well in that case ill come up. On the day she was supposed to come up she messaged in the morning and said she had a terrible headache and wasnt sure now,shell leave it a few hrs to see if it went,but if it doesnt she come up in a fortnight with our daughter and stay an extra couple of days to make it up to me. Shes used the headache excuse multiple times already over the last 7 months. I was angry and wasnt sure what to message back.I knew she knew me and that i would respond in dissapointment and i stupidly did saying no good about the headache and i kind of knew this was going to happen.She said i know we are going to fight is all.I said you dont know that will happen at all and i know that you just dont want to spend time with me because you are over me and our marriage (bit of manipulating on my behalf i know) Called her instead of messaging and said you dont know what will happen if you come up ect..and she said she did "see we are fighting now on the phone" She had gotten the reaction out of me and i played right into it,i stupidly said im sick of her manipulating me and treating me like a doormat and wont put up with it anymore i dont like being used by her.She threw a few lovely words at me then hung up. Hasnt contacted me in a few days now so i guess i blew it again!!!! She knows me too well and plays the game to trap me so she an justify to herself what she doing with the other guys.How can i change this behaviour and idk.Why is she punishing me she must know that this is ripping me apart. I really feel like giving up,i cant compete with the OM(her PA) and guys(EA possibly PA)shes lost in this fantasy world and is unreachable to me.Living 4 hrs away is so hard as i know she is seeing other man.My friends update me occasionally from what they see on her social media,she knows they would be telling me things its like she wants them to,its a thrill to her. So hard to work through this when she obviously is done....why does she say things like i love you,we will get through this and everything will be ok,we are just having a break...not a forever break. Im such a fool and believe her idk.Trying to GAL but dont even want to get out of bed!!!
