Hi Everyone, just wanted to let you know how my Son's wedding went,
We could not have asked for better weather, there was heavy snow fall the night before which covered the mountains and we woke to beautiful blue skies. The location they picked was a remote paddock overlooking a lake and the now snowy mountains. S24 took me to the site early in the morning and let me choose where they should stand and we set up the lectern that he designed and made together last week. He also asked me to be his witness which I was honored to be.
S21 and h arrived late morning on the day of the wedding, he greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek. He remained friendly and chatty most of the day, but generally stuck to talking and banter with both s. I made the suggestion that we take s24 out for brunch as a family, the last one as just the four of us, he was totally agreeable to this and despite me offering to split the bill he paid for the whole meal. He took the day quite seriously, making sure s24 did not get to see his bride before the ceremony (we were all staying in a large ski chalet) and ferried people to the site in a 4x4 as the terrain was not ok for cars. We both stood on s24 side next to each other and he recorded the vows to send to his parents who were waiting in the UK to see them. He asked me which way I was travelling home and when I said I was going to go through the ranges for a scenic drive back he said seriously " don't leave too early will you; the roads that way will be very icy, wait till the sun has defrosted them a bit"
He looks old, his beard is mostly grey now and he has deep lines in his face, his hairline is receding and he has a noticeable bald spot now. The last time I saw him he was super fit, but he has lost that muscle tone and looks quite chubby with a tummy on him. I didn't "feel" anything for him, in fact if I met him in at a party and i did not know him he is not someone I would probably talk to, he has this air of arrogance about him. He was on the sidelines, he didn't make much effort to engage with our new DIL family and looked distant at times. It was nothing bad, just noticeable that he was maybe feeling a bit uncomfortable.
I was chatty and friendly all day, just did my own thing and enjoyed the day very much. We were sat the opposite ends of the table for dinner, facing each other. At one point he looked at me and pointed to the side of his cheek, gesturing that I had something on mine, I mouthed thank you and he smiled. I caught him looking at me a few times, listening to the conversations I was having at my end of the table, which was mostly about different wines hahaha, he made a comment or two along the way, looked surprised I had become knowledgeable in wine and that I had been to a couple of concerts courtesy of my old event hire job. At the end of the meal (by this time there had been a lot of alcohol consumed as each course - 6 of them - had a paired wine plus we had toasts with bubbles and liquors) it was getting rather loud and a lot of laughing going on, h had not had much to drink as he was driving home, so looked on amused at this drunken rabble before him. He left as soon as the meal was finished, he said goodbye to everyone, gave s24 and DIL a hug and welcomed her to the family. I was outside getting my coat from the car as we were all going stargazing, so I walked to his car with him, he said it was nice to see me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the lips, then said quietly " I paid you the money yesterday, it should be in your bank now" I replied " thank you, I will check, safe travels home" and i turned around and walked back inside, no looking back, no feeling of sadness or anything, just looking forward to the looking at the stars with my family.
I did have a couple of emotional moments on the day, but they were fleeting. One was when we stood next to each other and the celebrant said his words about "what is love" I felt so sad that h had done the opposite of what was advised, seeing through the bad times, loving each other, being kind to each other etc etc. I also got upset when he gave them a rather large sum of money (seems that his parents have given both him and his brother some money from the sale of a rental house they own) I felt absolutely terrible that I would not be able to match it and it upset me that he was being so flash. S24 talked to me about it later and said "if a rich man and a poor man give you $10, you value the one the poor man gave you as you know they have had to sacrifice something of theirs to give you that $10 where the rich man has sacrificed nothing, its small change to him. If you gave us $50 towards our travel fund we would value that more than the $1000 dad just gave us, we know you will have given up food or something equally important to give us that money, to dad it small change now" I just burst in to tears, I am so proud of the mature and understanding young man that he has grown in to, I told him so and said its a mums prerogative to cry on her her sons wedding day ha ha
So thats is, I am back at home now, staying in a motel until DIL family leave on Wednesday and then I can move back in to the sleepout ..... non granny flat as I now call it ..... s21 and g/friend are coming down to visit in 2 weeks time, and I hope to go a visit them end of September. Normal life resumes, I am not further forward in deciding what I want to do, just know that something has to change .....perhaps I am going through my own midlife crisis lol.
Thanks for reading, love and hugs to everyone xoxo
