Well, this morning was a bit different. After I made my earlier post, somehow we ended up on a discussion about R (I can't even really remember how). I definitely pulled a 180, and told her that I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want me, told her that if we were separating I wanted Something to stay here since it's less upheaval for him and her schedule is so jacked up. I then told her that I didn't want to separate, but I understood why she would feel like she needed to, so if that's really what she wanted, to go ahead and pack her stuff and leave today. I told her I was done not being a man, that I am a strong and independent person, and I don't need her validation. I want her in my life to enhance my happiness, not be there source of it, nor do I want to be the source of hers. I told her in no uncertain terms that I'd be fine without her, even though I'd miss her. I also showed more empathy to her about understanding how my actions had affected her, so much so that she got pretty weepy as I expressed what I was going to do to correct my behavior, for her or for someone else. It all seemed to get through a bit... She's still here for now, at least. I think it really took her by surprise since it's not been like me to tell her where the door is in the past. She said she's still unsure what she wants to do, but I feel like it maybe broke through the wall a bit.
