My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 3

[ovrrnbw]

So the poison convos, how do I avoid them? (Thinking out loud)

Arsh, how do you suggest not giving her the chance to dig at me? Just avoiding convos or not state my opinion?

She is deeply entrenched in her lies. Says her parents, sister, and 2 friends all say it's not an affair. I asked for clarification and she only says I was mean and emotionally abusive to her. I guess marriage to her just means you snap your fingers and it's over - in which case I don't think I care if I'm not married to you. And, according to her family's messed up thoughts, she must have cheated on her BF with her husband (totally not screwed up). She loves the we need to sell the house first excuse, but I haven't heard that one in a while.

I am always thinking about blowing this up, telling the OM everything, his parents her parents, the whole world and just saying screw it. It's amazing WW can treat me this way and still say she loves me.

Last Friday we got a $1,000 check from the mortgage company we just refi'd with. WW forged my signature on it and deposited in the joint account (I have a separate account). I asked her about the forgery yesterday and if that's really a good idea given the situation.

Her response was that it "wasn't for that reason". That's the I'm telling myself lies to feel better response (IMO).

It would be great if I didn't give a you-know-what.

Thurs night to Friday morning completely just ruined my mood. I would have been better off saying nothing. I was pulling out of the garage and she shuts the door several times to prevent me from leaving. Wants me to come inside to talk. Well the talk was all the same old same old. Throughout our talk I asked her why she would tell me she loves me, ask about putting our rings back on, go to counseling, call/text all the time, pretend we were "normal" just to throw me away without saying a peep of her intentions. She said she still "has love for me". I got emotional a couple of times. It's dumb that I did anything more than robot listen and validate, and gave her the satisfaction of realizing I still care. She brought up the fact that I moved my money out of the account.

I need to go back to my "do what works" list and stick to that.

I keep wanting to log all of these details of "how she is wrong". Maybe I need to worry about myself.

GAL this weekend:
- coffee out back. There's been fawn deer running around a lot and I have a ton fresh coffees.
- shooting
- building a grill table for a new grill
- some volunteer work?
- couple of walmart deals from brickseek.com (dunno if anyone here watches that)

Anyways, you guys are a great group, I don't know where I'd be without the support here.