We still haven't had any real R talks, discussion of the A, etc. I don't really know when is the right time. But I have a feeling she isn't going to be the one to bring it up and it makes me slightly uneasy.
She's not going to bring it up to discuss, and frankly, I don't believe anything will be made better by discussing the affair. I'm not saying you shouldn't ever talk about it, but I don't think she'll change due to a discussion. She'll react like she did the last time, leaving ends untied and you'll not get the answers you want or the satisfaction. You need an unbiased third party......like a professional MC.
My suggestion is to make up your mind as to when you are ready to go either way in the M, and then tell her if the M continues, that the two of you will need to attend MC until the issues in the MR can be resolved and you can learn the skills needed in this relationship. As long as she sees you putting up with this style of living arrangements, and no commitment from her...….I think she is going to continue doing the same old stuff, b/c unfinished business was never settled. To her, it's a game of manipulation.
I agree that you've come a long way, but I sense something is off b/c you are not posting like you once were. That's usually a sign that the member has given up. I'm concerned that maybe you've been reading some other material, like previously, and it messes with your NGS. Even if you don't have much to update, you can post on other threads. Just don't forsake all the hard work you've done thus far.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
