Is there hope? I have a WW

[LANE777]

Vapo...thanks for the pep talk. It feels good to read all these positive posts here on my thread. Its motivating I get more and more knowledgeable and confident by the week. I know that I have been putting so much focus on the WW and our M. She is soo checked out right now that there is no chance anything is going to fall my way for a very long time. That OM is in her mind and she is gone at the moment.

When I talk to my friends and family, It seems like they are impressed with all of the knowledge I have recently acquired. Some of the people that have gone down this road told me some of the things they wished they would have done or not done are right here in this forum. I'm very glad I found this place.

Its been very quiet between me and the WW. She dropped the kids off on Tuesday. I suppose she has been busy with the OM and that's where I need to stop. I catch myself thinking about where she is every night and day.
Today while I am at work, she actually went and picked the kids up for a few hours. She had to take them to the HS to complete registration and pay fees. Of course she texted me the cost of fees and told me I needed to pay half. No big deal. I did go home for lunch and she brought them home. She just dropped them off, I stayed inside and didn't attempt to go out to see her.

So now today...new mindset!! Vapo and everyone that knows my sitch. I need you to hold me accountable (like you have been) on me detaching and GAL etc. For a while there I thought I was doing an amazing job....wrong!
Its like I need a whole new makeover in a way. When I was in my 20s. I was a very outgoing and fun to be around guy.
Even back in my drinking partying days from age 20 to about 28 was the life of the party. Now I know I don't need to go back to those days...not a chance. But I can now see where I calmed down...at 28 I married a 20 year old who never sowed wild oats like myself. I know she made the choice and we did very well for 17 years. I know after she started work a few years back that she climbed out of the box. She met new younger friends at work. It made her feel good that people wanted to hang out. And then of course the OM came in the picture. Now she has crossed the line and wants to go have her fun. I lost my mojo over the years and must of just settled down a little to much. But she was always saying I was way immature and that she had 5 kids that included me. So I always thought we were a good match, If anyone should have worried it should have been her. But I was faithful to her no matter what. She had 4 babies that destroy a womans body and I stuck with her. Before she left she made a comment " looks like the tables have turned"..However I never treated her the way she has treated me ever. I may have been a little grouchy but was always very considerate and was never selfish with my time or things. I never drank or was abusive in any way. She now makes it sound like I ignored her or took her for granted. I thought we were just a typical marriage raising kids and trying to provide for the family. The only reason she went to work at the grocery is that she qualified for benefits and it saved us 800 a month plus a little income. Little did I know it would probably most likely cost me my marriage. Now I want to burn the place down. Its a septic tank of low life people and drama that sucked a wonderful person into their standards.


I think she just gave up a year or 2 ago while at work and planned this whole thing. She was very unselfish, very kind and a heart of gold. I can see how she changed slowly over time and can recall some of the comments. One comment she made that I thought was just a joke. " Do feel like were just roommates"

Well sorry for rambling. I cant dwell on the past anymore. I recognize more and more everyday what I need to do form me. I need to let the old M go for now. Time to focus on me for a season.

Lane