I'm not good at recognizing a lot of things so if you read this could you kindly clarify how you know my H knows I'm waiting? I just don't know what else I can do because even if I started partying and acting wild he wouldn't know because he's far far away. I'll try the flowers and lingerie thing that KML mentioned next time he's here - making him see some signs that I've got stuff happening even though I don't. I do like the guy I met through work last week though. If only he were older I'd definitely consider him. I wish I could meet someone just like that who'd be a better fit. Then I'd probably see divorce in a more positive light whereas right now it's like the end-of-the-world. That's why I'm trying to challenge myself to stop thinking that I'll be alone, there's no one else other than my husband, etc... but I just have to keep trying to think more openly I guess.
Trust me he knows...
Because when you suddenly have other things that are pulling at your heart and mind you will act, look and overall just be different. Right now your situation has all of your attention outside maintaing a job and your D.
You need to do your 180 girl!!!! You need to join a meet up group that is mixed with men and woman equally. You need to step outside your comfort zone and meet someone in a way you never thought you would. You do feel ready to date you need to go on lots of first dates (believe me this is how you learn so much about yourself!!!!) Accept that date that you might not have if it were the old you. You need to work on your interpersonal skills. Its been a long time since you dated and you need to brush up those skills so that when you do meet someone you think might click your not a rusty clunker but sleek Mercedes!
Its not easy to put yourself out there. I went on a lot of dates with people I didn't think I would have a true long term connection and I learned so much about myself in the process. Some of those guys turned into good friends, business connections, etc. Some of my first dates became hilarious stories. I've got the best first date stories!!! Now I did online dating but I was safe. I always met in a public place usually for a late lunch. I always drove myself - needed my own get away car! Late lunches accommodate a drink with dinner and if it was going well we could extend the date to a movie or some other activity.
Now I met my H online. I accepted his request to chat because I was trying to be the opposite of who I was. The old me would have never given my H the time of day. We chatted off and on. He would try to nail down a date but the fact that we were both single parents it was hard (and honestly I wasn't jumping at the situation.) Now I ended up with an extra concert ticket... went through my ENTIRE friends list and no one could do a weekday concert so I broke down and asked him.... he called in sick to work that night to make it. Our first date has the best first date story ever!!!! Even then I wasn't sure I would do a second date but he was persistant... and now we are M.
So my point is - when it comes to dating... do try online but be safe about it. Do something the old Nic would never do. Trust me when you start these things you just have a different glow about it and others pick it up... including your H.
Now as to the pretending - like buying your own flowers, etc. Pretending can backfire. I would treat that water cautiously, I'm not sure how to put it in words but your H stills knows you are waiting on him... I still know you are waiting on him.
