OK, I really screwed up now. I've been married for a long time, no sex in the marriage for many years. We've been slowly working toward more warmth in the marriage - even some touching and cuddling.
I was in Amsterdam on a business trip. In Amsterdam, there is a red light district where they have shopping windows with prostitutes in them wearing only lingerie, and the prostitutes flirt with the passers by. I was smart enough to know I had to avoid the red light district, but I didn't know that there are other parts of Amsterdam like that. Late at night, tired, hungry, and lonely, I gave in to temptation and went in with a prostitute.
What an idiot I am. Now I have to figure out what and how to tell my wife. I tried telling her that I have something emotionally heavy to share with her and wanted help picking the best time, and she said she felt like she had enough emotional barriers to me that bringing up one more emotionally heavy subject might not be a good idea. I agree - but I also don't think I should deceive her about something like this, and keeping silent feels like deception. It especially feels like I should let her know before my wife and I have sex again, not that this is likely any time soon. But letting her know might well postpone the things we are now working on, and put off sex indefinately.
I could really use advice on what, when, and how to share this with my wife. Also, I have no idea what things should be checked medically - we did use a condom, but I don't think that makes it 100% safe, does it? If I have this tested at the doctor's, how confidential will it be? Could the nature of the tests show up in billing records etc?
