Hey Slater! Good to hear from you. Yeh, I am still doing textbook DB but I might change things up a bit. I am still thinking about it. It goes back to our convo about swallowing the pride and just doing things without expectations. I am mulling it over.
I do agree with J about the party. I don't think it's pursuing if she invites you. However, with her 'good friend' being there, I am assuming you're talking about someone she dated. That gives me a bit of a pause.
But, I think here are some questions that I'd answer to make my decision:
1. Can I do this without any expectations? 2. Am I going to be comfortable in this setting? 3. Can I be myself?
I get along great with my in-laws and so if I was in your shoes, I would accept. But I don't think I can do it if someone she has dated is going to be there. That wouldn't be cool with me. That's where I am at right now. But with that variable in, if your answer to question no. 2 is 'yes', then do it.
It's always a win for the kids in this situation, but your son is 4 and won't likely remember this. You can always re visit this next year and see how you feel if you're not feeling 100% about it this year.
At this point, it doesn't sound like cake-eating. It's been 2 years. As long as you're not trying to nice her back and have a hidden agenda or expectation, then you should be fine. I generally see cake-eating happening in the early parts after BD and can continue if the LBS doesn't have good boundaries.
Come back and let us know what you decide and other details if you do decide to go.
