he is right that we are here b/c of me treating her like crap though. If I was a decent, better person this relationship would have been stronger. Not that I can change anything in the past.
You don't know this for sure. You might have been a perfect H and still ended up here. Also, there is usually a ying for yang. Was your treating her like crap a symptom of something else wrong in the relationship? Something she had some control over?
It is like my sitch. Yes I had shut down, and turned into a critical, verbally abusive, curmudgeon. But why? I didn't just wake up one day and say "I think I'm going to start treating W like crap!"
There were other issues in the MR that got me to that point. SSM. The resentment and anger that it resulted in. The trying to discuss it with her over the years and her making excuses, or blaming me, or trying to justify it as normal. On and on. That finally led, over time, to where we ended up.
WASs, and especially WAWs/WWs will always justify their actions by playing the innocent victim card. Rarely is that true. It might not be completely false either, but rarely is it the whole truth. And it takes two to tango, so even if some of what she says is true, likely she has a lot of culpability in it too.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
