Husband Left for Second Time - 6

[Davide]

Nicole,

I hear you. We are the same age, even if we are in different sitchs, and one of my triggering thoughts is that I am going to go through life alone, never find anyone else. I think it is important to face that fear head-on, to sit with it, to examine it. Why does that scare me? Ultimately doesn't it come from a sense that I am not enough, that I can't validate myself and need external validation. It also has to do with taking responsibility for my own life and my own happiness, for taking the steps and putting in place the practices that make my life fulfilling. That's why this time alone, this "limbo" time, is so important. It gives me a chance to do that work on myself and conquer that fear.

In terms of dating you seem to be putting up lots of barriers (no bars, no internet, a great guy but too young). Is that because you aren't ready? Or are they really core values that you don't want to compromise because they reflect who you really are? There are millions of single men out there, some of whom are actually good guys but opening up yourself to the experience and putting yourself out there is necessary.