Right this moment I really want to win this. I know it will take discipline . I just want that shot of reconciliation, but need to go through the stages and the WW needs to go through the phases as well. Ive said it a few times, I don't want to mess this up.
You have the wrong mindset buddy from the getgo. Let go of the wanting for reconciliation, because that will interfere with your growth. Focus on YOU and the KIDS. Let reconciliation be for now. Check your feelings for your W at the door and start doing right by you. Eat well (not a lot, but well, i.e. healthy, lots of veg. and fruit), exercise, get a new haircut, new fragrances, perhaps even some new clothes. If you can spare any weight loss, now would be the time to shed it. In this case, you might want to wait a bit with buying new clothes. You have to relearn to love yourself first. I cannot stress that enough. You are the most important person in your life, not your W and not your kids. Remember when you flay somewhere, what do the flight attendants say at the start of the flight. In case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Please put your mask on fist before helping others. YES, YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF FIRST, OTHERWISE YOU ARE NO GOOD TO OTHERS.
Now is the time to reinvent yourself. That road trip to Vegas down RT66 you always dreamed of taking, now you can. You always had an itch to take on painting, now you can.
There is a whole world out there waiting for you. But there is one catch. You have to get your a$$ in gear. Whining and poor me will get you nowhere. It is hard. I know it is. But just start small. Small changes to your day routine will make you feel alive again. And the trick is to keep pushing the envelope. One little bit at a time. Small steps, baby steps.
I am a success story. No, I have not gotten back with my wife. But I've gotten me back. I reclaimed my life. I am happy, my kids are happy, I have a great new job that allows me to travel the world, I have my hobbies, I often find myself thanking the higher powers for my life and sometimes even shouting it from the top of my voice.
You have to start your journey to the change and you have to be aware that that is one journey that will never stop.
Stay strong buddy, we know exactly what you are going trough...
