DB / Detach, WAW... piecing

[Did]

Yes to keep doing the same thing is insane. No I would not invest in her. I also dont have a child with a business partner. That doesnt matter and is probably the part that keeps throwing me off. I want to have my daughter grow up with both aprents and have her full time so badly and have the family thing that I jump passed the making her fall for me by being unavailable.

We havent been together in a year. Honestly I dont know if I even like her as a person. We dont know each other shes all messed up and wasnt like this when we were married. Ive changed a lot and done a lot of therapy. Those are facts.
The friends first thing she has said before. I made it clear I am not interested in being friends. Something months ago I was open to. No, she doesnt trust me, I used to lie, smoke weed hide stuff from her while we were married I didnt do much at all to keep her happy. Why should she trust me?

When we separated I made some bad decisions on who to date. As did she but yes, she has shown the desire to be friendly with her actions inviting over for pancake breakfasts saying she wants to be friends first.

I think she truly means what she says. Yes shes also scared and has issues with anxiety.

Ill listen to you. Ill be short. I do truly believe she is interested in building a relationship slowly or seeing how it feels to spend time together. Could it be the financial support yea maybe. Do I care about 10k if I pay a few months more support honestly, no not much at all.

I do care about my thought process, mental health and happiness. I can not allow her to control my happiness. I reached out to a IC. What do I need to work on? How can I fix myself? What do I need to work on? These are things I have a hard time seeing.

Im going to think when she reaches out... No Im Out. At least I see where we are at. I do wish I had just played coy and mysterious instead of being like yea Im down.

If she comes on strong and definite then yea Im open to it. Until then she can have limited interaction and time with me unless she pursues heavily and is more definite about it.

If she wants to take it slow and see how things go how to proceed.... so tired of this being on my mind and weighing me down. That is my motivation to be ok with divorce.

Going out with a guy friend tonight. Finishing up work going to the gym.