Yeah. I kind of agree with you Terapin. Even when I was reading the book just post-BD I thought that a lot of it simply didn't apply to my sitch. The only parts that I felt helpful at the time were on LRT and the section on MLC (when I thought that was what my WAW was going through). Most of us on here are past the other parts of the book, and nowhere near the piecing section.

I think the realization that you have no control over whether or not the MR is saved is vital. Even if you do everything right, your WW is doing her own thing and has to want to come back and attempt to R. Some people say that you can let go of the rope, give up any control and yet still maintain hope. I struggle with that. I think hopelessness (about possible R, not about myself) is the key to detachment for me.

W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019