Well crouton, it is a process. It isn't like you do a, b and c and NOW you are detached.
The process is first to get busy . GAL. Stop being so available and especially having too much time to thwart your efforts. Then you have to limit contact. You do not initiate contact.When she does only respond to direct questions, but with as few words as possible. Answer yes or no question with a yes or no. If you talk to her listen intently, and validate.
Read the detachment thread. Read the validation thread.
Your goal is to get where her words and actions no longer affect you emotionally.
See, this is where I'm struggling. I haven't been available and have been GAL as much as I can, but I also am mostly trapped here during the week since I have to take care of my S, which then leads to making dinner and checking schoolwork. In the evenings, assuming she's not coming in at 8:30 or later from working late, we spend maybe an hour or so together as a "family", and usually, that's eating dinner while watching a show. There's very little communication going on. I will admit, when things were going good, I was communicating with her more, but only when she initiated it. The weekends are different in that she usually goes off and does something alone anyway. Part of me doing a 180 is that for the last two years, I was unavailable because I was working two jobs, so I'm trying to at least be freed up on the weekends, even if we're not spending time together... I can still spend time with my S.
Where I'm really confused is letting go emotionally. I can change my action all I want, but emotionally, I'm still invested. I think this is the largest contributing factor to my sitch at the moment. What worked for you guys in combination with GAL, etc., to emotionally detach?
