Thanks everyone. I appreciate your encouragement. My husband is now out with our daughter for an hour before he goes to the airport.
Ovrrnbw, I believe you but I don't know how to meet those kind of men being 40 with a child. I have to learn to deal with the feeling of being alone better. I still think my husband might come back someday but not right now. There are clearly too many advantages with our current arrangement where he doesn't have to have any responsibilities and can have as much fun as he wants. I guess it's just like your wife having your financial support and keeping you on standby while she dates that other guy.
Neffer, thanks. I don't want to be Plan B but my struggle is that none of the options sound good. I'm trying hard for my daughter to make-up for the deficit but nothing can fix what my husband has done. I don't know how to ease my mind. I'm trying everything from the DB book, allowing time to pass, keeping things open-ended in case my husband wants to turn himself around....nothing really helps though on days like yesterday when I see my child suffering. It's so unfair. I really was a good wife and I'm not that bad looking and our daughter is just beautiful. I've worked really really hard to overcome my faults and weaknesses in the past year. I can't believe my daughter and I are worth nothing. What does this make you think about yourself and your own situation?
LoneWlf, thanks so much. I know you understand based on everything I read on your thread. I'll pray for your family too. I get frustrated with a God who allows this to happen to children but there's a lot beyond our comprehension.
Jim, you're right and I'm thinking too much in general. I'm trying to get past the limitations I created and to be more positive but there are setbacks like this. Things are still better now than before, especially with my husband being nice again, but I see so many people move on quickly after their spouse leaves and I don't know how that happens. Like they date a few people, find one they like, and they're in a relationship again. I guess something is wrong with me for not seeing that as possible in my case but again I'll try to be more positive, think less, and take more risks.
