W keeps refusing to attend any activities together with me and S4. She'd rather prefer staying home watching some soap TV shows. However, she keeps sending me potential activities that I could bring S4 to attend. For example, she sent me a link about a puppet show. I then told her I booked the tickets for all 3 of us. She responded saying she will not go. It seems she wants S4 to be well cared, but she is not willing to do it herself. She wants is to be left alone.
Should I just stop asking her? I still ask her to join us because we actually had good times we three go out, and those are great opportunities to showcase my 180s and to reconnect with her emotionally. But she did tell me that she dislikes me now, thus doesn't want to go out with me.
I know I am still pursuing her. I've read the "distancing and chasing". But my wife has always been a very passive girl. She would never chase anyone. I worry that if I stop attempting to reconnect, we will drift further apart.
yes stop asking her.
Even if is he is passive that doesn't mean she will not recoil from pursuit and pressure. Even if she won't be the chaser, she likely will run as the chasee. Do do not chase her.
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I worry that if I stop attempting to reconnect, we will drift further apart.
We all worry about this. But what is the alternative? To drive her away faster by chasing and pursuing? See the dilemma.
People have a tendency to MAKE what they fear most. You fear drifting further apart. Which may happen no matter what. But it WILL happen if you pursue and pressure her. So what happens is most LBSs fear this, so they pursue and pressure, and then when they end up further apart faster than if they just stopped trying to reconnect. So don't make your worst fear come true. It doesn't guarantee it won't anyway, but you can't stop it by pursuing and can only make it happen faster.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
