Equalzr, you have the wrong idea here. Detaching is to save YOU, not the marriage. There is nothing you can say or do that will save your marriage, but plenty to fcuk it up.
LANE, you over analyze everything and you assume waaaaay too much stuff. You might have not noticed it, but you are running yourself into overdrive. You really need to stop this. I know you are trying to find that silver buller, that one thing you can say/do that will turn it around for you. You can't. Because there is no such thing.
And it is best that you do not over share with the inlaws. Sure, they get you, hell they might even like/love you, but at the end of the day, blood is thicker than water and they will stand by their daughter.
And also you are taking thing waaaay too personally. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU, IT IS ALL ABOUT HER. She isn't doing these things to screw with you, you have simply vanished off her radar. You do not matter to her ATM. It is all about her. You might even hear her say: "I have always put other's needs before mine, now it is my time. My time to be happy." That is of course complete BS, but that's what it is.
DO NOT try to get into your W's head. I repeat, DO NOT. Her head is a messed up place with all the weird emotions and stuff and boy does it get crazy in there. So again, look after yourself and the kiddos and protect yourself. Protect yourself in all manners possible. Do get a L advice, do take financial precautions, these MLCers are known to burn through cash like there is no tomorrow.
You write about her remorse and that she still has not shown any. Forget about is. She is riding high on the sense of entitlement and you will not see any remorse. Forget about it.
Originally Posted by LANE
Did any of you ever question or wonder if you were doing the right thing? Especially if you really wanted the R to work out?
And just what exactly are you doing? If you have not noticed, you are not in the driver's seat, you are just a passenger. What do you feel you should be doing?
