Letting go for my own inner peace

[Irish M]

HI guys, a big thanks for all your support. Doctor said that hasn't changed in size and since D16 hasn't had any symptoms it looks good. We should get a call from a 2nd doctors office for final tests. This should be in the next 3 months. Movement tests and stress test just to see how things go. Since the majority of symptoms were when she was doing very physical activities

on the XW side , I saw my lawyer and a nice closure letter from him to XW and her lawyer was sent. I'll fill in those details below.

Gordie, thanks man, you are an amazing dad too. We are all parents doing the best we can for our kids.

DnJ, I think about your story often when I come here. I don't post much anymore on other posts but I will update my sitch as things progress , Good or bad. I hope one day I will post something good and positive about XW and the girls, that their mom came to her senses and connected with them in a healthy way.

I think her persistence is that she is finding it hard. The girls birthdays and such important ages 16 and 18. I'm sure she is not handling things well and this is her way to voice out. Too bad its still her entitlement and not her compassion for what she did to them. D16 still repeats what her mom said.. " I'm not your mom anymore , it's my time now" and walked out.
Hard thing to forget.

by the way your quote - I may give up, but not today. I love it.

Hi Gerda

I completely understand what you are saying . Never in a million years would I keep the girls away from healthy mom. I tell the girls often that they will connect with their mom one day. Will it be now, not a chance because the girls know she is not the same loving person that she once was. They won't accept or settle for this broken version who has nothing to offer them except a drunk as a husband, parties and anger if they question it. What parent in their right mind would encourage their kids to be in contact with that kind of person. Not me

Forgiveness to me and my girls comes with the person that did wrong accepting what they had did wrong and did something to correct it. Why would the girls forgive her if she continues to do it. I didn't raise the girls and neither did my XW to accept it for what it is. It's not hatred they have for her, it's indifference and wanting nothing to do with her. Them telling her to leave them alone and they will reach out is the right thing to do. D18 comments about removing her mom from her birth certificate is a teen venting out . It won't happen , i won't allow it and she doesn't push to have it done. It's all words.

Understanding mental illness they do. They know she is not well. We openly talk about it.

thanks for your 10 items on mental illness. Made me remember some moments that i thought I forgot about.
Also most of these don't apply. I believe these reflect someone who is bipolar that shuffles between normalcy and manic behavior

In the girls case number 3 stood out . They will never get in a car with her again. After the drive she gave them and slamming on the brakes so my D16 who was 12 at the time could have her face smash in to the back seat. . And D18 who was 15 , was nearly pushed down the stairs and slapped in the face because she questioned her moms new hickey on her neck from OM1 a week after moving out.

Hi Job
thanks for your continued support, since day 1. Yes her lawyers is cashing in, it's sad but her own mess to handle.

Hi Brubeck

I believe you are right about the drama. She is on a high as per her neighbor. Telling the world how happy she is , her marriage to OM2. Never one word about her kids.

As for contacting the girls directly. No clue why she doesn't . They do read her messages. They talk, then they decide together what to do or if they reply. She has their emails. Which I could of changed because they came with our service provider. I opted to stay with the current one even thought it is more expensive so email addresses don't change. That small window is there for them. Too bad her messages have been poorly received but the girls see through the entitlement and non loving mom that she is . One day she will get it.


Hi Rd

always a huge thanks to you. RD500 is a nick that will always be part of the positive side of this MLC.
I agree. she is wasting time and energy. I respect the girls choices and them seeing that they have a choice to stop the damaging affects is good. My lawyer is shutting this down before it gets even messier. Hopefully XW will take it as a wake up, That she cant manipulate me or them. Learn from it after it spins in her head.

Hi OneArt

tried to find your story. Hope you post it one day. I'm sure it can help someone here living the same thing. You seem strong and been through a lot.

You are correct on the no grounds.. this brings me to my Lawyers letter to XW and her lawyer

My lawyer decided to do this no charge. He was disgusted by the letters he read from XW lawyer. The manipulative way , trying to scare me and not respecting D16 wishes at all.

A few of the main points in my Lawyers letter were clear and to the point.

that the method in which XW lawyer wrote to me was manipulative , ill-founded, and demonstrated a threatening, abusive and damaging position which has no merit.

That it must now cease and desist immediately, in default of which, moral damages shall be ultimately claimed for the harassing, threatening, abusive and destructive methods utilized by the lawyers client (XW) against the interests of myself , and more specifically, against D16’s interests.

He asked her to clarify the scenario with her client( XW) so as to avoid future unnecessary litigation,


I think XW lawyer stepped out of bounds with her tactics. I'm not one to sit back and let entitlement and narcissistic Xw have her way. I won;t be bullied by a lawyer who clearly fell for XW victim story and had not seen or asked about any facts. I know it's not DB'ing. I am well past that.

I feel good about the lawyers letter. It will surely give XW something to think about. Hopefully it can fuel some change in her ways . We still pray for her. Just want a healthy her

take care. sorry for he long read.