Advice on my Scenario Pt. 22

[OrangeK]

So im still back and forth between trying to be approachable, and standing my ground.
As always in now feeling super low.
Im like a damn pendulum.
Back and forth between motivated persistence and crippling regret and indecision.

3 IC's havent helped.
Posting here hasnt helped.
Talking to friends hasnt helped.
Trying to ignore it hasnt helped.
i keep doing the same sh*t, even though i know better.

Im lost. i dont have any options left, i dont have any ideas left.
I feel like this is it, this is just how i live now.