Baby sitter. Remember-babysitter. Would you hug the baby sitter when she asked for one? Would you send the babysitter videos at 1130 pm? Would you send "thanks for the apology"- nope. The babysitter doesn't know enough about you to make assumptions and have to apologize.
Yeah, like a 15 year old babysitter! What would you say if a teenage babysitter said, "Do you want a hug?" Seriously???
You must get something in your head. Before you can get her back, you've got to let her go. That means that you have to let go of the marriage (emotionally/mentally). Stop trying to save it. Until you stop, every interaction with her screams of nice guy pursuit. You've got to stop it. Stop trying to be nice and polite, b/c you can't handle it. She can even see that it's not natural. Just settle for being civil.
Look, maybe we over emphasize about not being cold. (I think I'm going to start telling nice guys to be colder to their WW, b/c you guys go overboard. ) You think you're being cold when you don't respond to every text she sends! If you weren't interested in her, you wouldn't give her the time of day. And the guy she dumped shouldn't give her the time of day! The minute you stop, she'll be chasing you down the street. You won't be able to keep her away. In the meantime, she is going to constantly temp check...….which is not the same as pursuing. Temp checking is her way of keeping you emotionally attached to her. In other words, it's a form of manipulation. She only wants you whenever it's convenient for her....and on her terms. So anyway, you wanted to know how to get your family back, and I've tried to tell you that's how it's done when you have a spoiled, wayward, wife.
There was another poster by the name of Chris (we've had several new Chris's to come since then), and his W sounded very much like yours. Of course, Chris was a nice-guy, too, so it was really difficult for him to not jump every time she said frog. He would post every time she sent him a text. Like, he didn't know how not to be nice! But all she was doing was temp checking him. It took a long time for him to finally believe us, and see her for himself. Then, he had to get the courage to simply not walk into the spider's web. I think what helped him more than anything else, was when he started hanging out with an old pal of his. Men need to spend time with other men (without any women). Chris was successful in business, but after marriage, his life revolved around his spoiled, bratty, wayward W. He wasn't spending any guy time with friends. Since I've been on the board, I have seen this a lot in the stories I've read. Women need to bond with other women, and men need to bond with other guys.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
) You think you're being cold when you don't respond to every text she sends! If you weren't interested in her, you wouldn't give her the time of day. And the guy she dumped 