j9 you know D is almost 4 now...a few nights ago when I put her down...paraphrasing exactly what she said but she did say "I wish we were a family"...she knows now. it was truly the most heartbreaking thing to hear...hurt WAY worse than BD to be honest. D knows more than W thinks even at such a young age...surprised me for sure.
steve...yep you are right...so much of mindset right now is just to close down to ladies completely and just raise my son. MANY lady friends are trying to convince me to not extrapolate my feelings out beyond my W. they say there are like a billion other women. to which I reply yes, but I do not get to fail 500,000 times. twice failed makes me hugely feel like damaged goods. i do truly pray to God to keep me from other women so as not to destroy them the way I've done the prior 2. i know that's fatalistic and crazy...i have many GFs fighting hard to keep my heart open to the possibility of a future relationship. third time is the charm has been their statement.
