Patience, DB, Detach... piecing or divorce

[Did]

Loves- I agree about distancing myself 100% I slip up for sure. But Im on it. Im not reaching out to her. Im not being as available. Dont remind her that she left me. She has facetimed me multiple times this morning. Including herself being in the picture with D3 in a dress looking pretty da*n good before going to the beach. Usually we just hold phone for D3 to talk.

What about her straight up saying she wants to take small steps? She is obviously interested but I know she wants to take it slow. She also has a lot of sh*t she has to work on / work through. I dont think its the time to set boundaries like you need to IC or we need to do MC or anything... shes at the beach for a few days then its D3 birthday Monday.

I want to rebuild the relationship and saving my marriage / family is a top priority for me... so dont act too interested, dont be too available. Dont be too excited. Let her come to me... but how to respond / react when she says she wants to take small steps? She wants to text me pics of the stars at night and talk about it. I told her to call me I dont want to talk by text all the time... as we have since S and never did before that.

Shes not dating. I have been although nothing serious more just social / friendship for a bite / drinks. I will probably stop dating. Her knowing Im dating would definitely be a big step back in any progress we've made. I think I will get back into IC - talk therapy. I do a more spiritual IC at this point every two weeks and did a lot of talk therapy months ago. Counseling may help me with my decision making / boundaries if we try to build the relationship.

Steves- I readily admit I have NGS and am working on it. I have gotten caught up with moving and a new job so I need to get back into self help and putting time into myself. Things I've focused on are getting my needs met and telling people what I want. I know I am too concerned about other peoples opinions of me and Im manipulative with covert contracts. I catch myself sometimes... work in progress for sure. But I have no problem admitting my faults... something years ago I struggled with.