Loves can I hire you like Hitch? You're going to send me money or vice versa? You make me laugh at least...
I hope this sh*t works.
She just said ok in response to my been busy.
Planning on saying I understand you've been trying to reach out more goodnight in a bit.
No, don't say that last part now. My suggestion for saying that was to validate her, but now that you've responded (even better) with just been busy, leave it at that. Remember, the niceties do nothing to help you! It is too much. It gives her that feeling of control again. Once she feels that she goes dark on you.
Did, when you say you hope this works, what do you mean? NOTHING YOU DO ASSURES you will be successful and saving your MR. NOTHING. What we are coaching you on gives you the best choice because your mysteriousness makes her curious. And curiosity leads to sniffing around. And sniffing around leads her to see you are changed. And that can lead to re attraction. But none of that is guaranteed.
There are so many variables it is impossible to be successful in that way. The best measure of success is that Did is okay no matter how it turns out!! Whether she comes back, or never comes back, Did being okay is where success is.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
After her ok she says youre being polite but like a robot.
Starting to drive me a little crazy. I want to say Im not your friend W. I was your H now were S. Youre at the beach for our Ds birthday trip. Im living my life. Have a goodnight.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Thanks Steve yea I will be ok and I always will be. Just hate the games. Thinking through every little response like who the F cares or has time for this. I know what I want. She can get on board or not I want to live life I dont want to play this game. But Im forced to.
Now Im turning to you guys for every response. Maybe Ill just stop talking to her.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
I think shes being honest not necessarily trying to push buttons. She doesnt even realize the subconscious part of all this. I dont think shes read or learned much about the pyschology behind it she just runs by her intuition. Not responding would be a 180... probably never done it...
Or respond, yea, goodnight... hope D3 has a great time.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Did, the reason you are scrutinizing every response is because your NGS isn't used to NOT responding to her. Once you get past the "being nice to try to get what you want" thinking you'll see the wisdom in NOT responding to every message.
The rules are simple:
Respond to questions in as few words as possible. For yes no questions, simply yes or no. For non-questions, no need to respond.
And please so not assume her intentions are pure. Do you really think she believes that being at the beach for D3's birthday without you is painless for you!?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Say something tomorrow like I understand you’re trying to reach out more... actions speak. I You’re down with our daughter at the beach for her birthday. And you want to text a bunch. That doesn’t work for me.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Don’t bring up the few words stuff! If it has to do with your daughter, keep it simple! That’s it! You don’t need to tell her the why. Let her figure it out!
And as someone who is being treated for NGS, have you read the book yet? Find a IC that specializes in NGS? If not, you need to. It’s turning my life around.
