I don't know that getting you out of the mindset of wanting to save the marriage is a bad thing. I have found it freeing to not be focused on saving my marriage. The sitch still [censored] and there are still waves of emotions, but it feels like a mental load has been removed. Really, she has to be the one who wants to save the marriage at some point in the future. We need to get to a place where we can take it or leave it.
As far as your question I would just tell her "because I didn't." Don't lie, just shut it down. She has no right to demand answers from you.
Thanks. you make a good point. And I thought I was DBing pretty well, and actually quite optimistic that I'd be fine whichever way things went. Of course, then I found out about the EA. lol. Everything went back to hell again with my emotions.
Anyway, she didn't ask any questions. She just asked how I was, and I said fine. I gotta be honest, she was texting away on her phone, and naturally I immediately thought it was with OM. She said she is planning on taking son out of state to her sisters this weekend to visit. She again apologized for her recent actions, and still maintains it's 'completely done' with OM and she doesn't 'have the energy' to entertain anything like that now. I told her 'that's good, cause I will not be disrespected in this house, and if it continued she would have to leave.'
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
