First off let me apologize for not having replied sooner. With so many new members in need of help showing up and my sitch unchanged, I’ve just been so happy to see folks like Stander, Steve, ovrrnbw lending their wisdom and time to those at the start of their BDs. I really want to thank all of you who take lots of time from your already busy lives/sitches to help those who’ve just arrived here and are heartbroken and reeling from a recent BD. Steve in particular…buddy you are TIRELESS on this board, truly hard to understate how a comment from you can be such a beacon of light/hope to a person in a terribly dark place.
So since my last post with my sitch no real change. Communication with W is non-existent. We have had no phone call ever nor meet up to discuss anything since BD. Been 2 months since we last saw each other and we have only had text exchange regarding a bill or two in about the same time. I expect her atty to reach out to mine sometime soon as best I know W wants to file for D ASAP. That is it all, zip/nada/zilch. The silence between us is non-understandable to me. W left me able to see me face to face if unable to look me in the eye, could text chat back and forth, etc but over time the anger, spew, then silent treatment and total silence have taken over. I’m only guessing but gut continues to say there has to be OM as I simply can’t come up with any other reason for her to have progressively gotten “worse” as our time apart as gone on.
My wedding ring…lol it’s been off and on my finger more times than I can even remember. Sometimes when I get hopeless it’s off, sometimes even when I’m angry at her I put it back on. Having it on or off doesn’t necessarily correspond to my mood which I find interesting. Last night, I was fully asleep with it off, but woke up for some reason around 2am and still pretty much asleep managed to put it back on my finger and “heard” the words “I will not forsake you” and then went right back to sleep. Best I can say is that I don’t know why I did that nor where that phrase came from as clear as it did.
ACC…buddy so wonderful to check my thread and see your post! Hadn’t seen you active in a while and figured you were out enjoying the summer on vacation. While I won’t deny you are somewhat right in that I keyed in on that line to try and justify some pursuit from me, actually what really set me off about it was that back when my W was still talking to me she had said “we don’t have a relationship anymore!” It was part of the the whole “I don’t want to work on the MR, but we have no MR!” circular deal we talked about. Anyway I shut that down. Wasn’t hard to do as W has basically been dead to me for the past 2 months. Her complete absence has allowed (forced?) me to develop my new life and I can honestly say I am that confident, self-assured, happy man you speak of my needing to be. Thing is she hasn’t seen me and as you say it’s all up to her coming to me and I know that. I just think by now even any kind of the slightest embers of feelings she might have for me…the time, distance and silence have snuffed those all out.
Going to stop and post this one now. Really want to read and have time to reply to AS, ovrrnbw, Wlf, Steve and J9’s words so more coming here in a bit. Thank you fellas for hangin with me, can’t tell you how much that means to me!
